Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Manic Monday

I went to my doctor to get checked out. I probably have a slightly pinched nerve but I've been told that it's possible to have a broken neck or damaged vertebrae or injured disk and not realize it. After a week of a slight tingle in my right arm I decided better to play it safe.

What? Me Stressed?
The nurse took my blood pressure and started to say, " Mmm, your blood pressure is a little..."
" I know, I've always been a bit low..."
She went on to say "...high."
"What??? You're kidding me. I've always been a bit low. I've never, ever been told it was high!"

I made her check again. Same results. I had her look at my records. I was about 20 points higher than normal. When my doctor came in, I had him re-check my pressure. In both arms. Same slightly on-the-high-side results. Apparently stress can do that. Not that I had been feeling particularly stressed. Except for the drive over. It still feels like I'm driving a giant magnet. Passing cars and trucks appear to gravitate toward the yellow line that separates us.

Next I went to the building next door for neck x-rays. Right before the x-ray techs took several pictures of my neck, they asked if I was pregnant. Apparently the fact that I have gained five pounds to my mid-section, had nothing to do with the query. It was a standard question.

"I'm 49 years old, so I hope not!" I answer

"We have to ask that of women up to age 60" was the response.


Stressed is Desserts spelled backwards

Oh crap! Maybe I'm not going through menopause and my sudden creeping pounds have nothing to do with recently cutting back on activity as to not further any possible injury. What if the extra-helpings of ice cream, pie and snacks before bed had nothing to do with my expanding waistline???

My mind flashes back to my shopping trip on Saturday at Sam's Club. There was a woman pushing a stroller with TRIPLETS! She is 44 years old and has a teenager and a 20 year old at home. She also thought she was in menopause!!!!

I go ahead with the x-rays and try not to think about my future 2-headed baby. Gotta keep my stress levels in check.

Ice Cream Social

Later in the day, I took my 6th grader to an Ice Cream Social at his middle school to check out his new school and classrooms. We saw our neighbors that live a few doors down from us. They have a girl the same age as my son. I decided to forgo the ice cream and catch up with my neighbor.

She asked about the car. Apparently her daughter had come home with some crazy story (which she knew couldn't be right) about what happened to it. Something she heard on "the street. It wasn't my imagination that the children in the neighborhood were avoiding our house. And scattering like cockroaches when they saw me round the bend in my rental car.

We swapped stories and I told her about my "Magnetic Car" theory. My neighbor agreed. She went though a period in her life where she was involved in a series of car crashes. NONE of them her fault.

In one "Hit & Run" she was rear-ended and knocked out by her steering wheel. When she awoke, a police officer was at her side, asking if she was o.k. and she discovered her purse had been stolen!!!!

Another, she was hit by a driver who left his license plate stuck in her door as he drove off. When the police arrived and asked if she got the other driver's information. She handed over the plate and asked, " Does this help?"!

Turns out the guy was a pimp who had been under police surveillance. He later got in touch with his victim and tried to persuade her to get her car fixed at his shop. Gives a whole new meaning to "Pimp My Ride"!

See, my crash could have been so much worse!

Wild Ride Ahead!

After the half-hour social we moved on to the auditorium for the program. I made sure to follow a few paces behind my son, pretending not to know him so he could catch up with his friends. I sat with some other parents that were doing the same.

We heard from the Principal, the President of the PTO and were introduced to the teachers. We were told the most important, daily message that our kids will be given is to " BE NICE".

"Be Nice"????, not "study hard", "try your best", "never give up" or some other inspirational psycho-babble, but "BE NICE"!

We were also told in many different ways that this will be a challenging year ( I believe the term "wild ride" was used once or twice!). The PTO lady also stressed the importance of making sure you were involved in your child's life. Also to get to know all their friends. And the parents of their friends. This was the most important mission of the PTO.

WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO! What kind of "Wild Ride" lies ahead????

O.K., calm down..... Gotta keep those stress levels in check...... Broken neck, mutant baby and hypertension to worry about!

7 comments:

Mooshki said...

"Stressed is Desserts spelled backwards"

Thank you, that makes my life so much better now that I can justify my desserts. :)

terri said...

Just being in a doctor's office raises my blood pressure, but I would imagine all that fear of pregnancy might do the trick too!

Jenny said...

"Good grief" to the doc's possible diagnosis, "holy mother" to the 2 headed baby, and "Oh My Lord" to the neighbor's accident stories!!! You should sell the rights of your life story to a film production company and make mucho bucks. You really should. I'd go see the movie! :)

Tara R. said...

No wonder you bp was a little elevated. *breathe*

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

Bless your poor little 2-headed baby's heart.
I hope your BP goes back to normal.
I'm loving the story of the pimp leaving his license plate behind!

GrumpyAngel said...

I found you on BloggersAnnex. You are very funny. I loved reading this post. I hope you got your stress level under control. I wouldn't worry about mutant babies. A friend of mine who is now in her late 40's thought she was done with having babies just a couple of years ago, then she had twins. Ooopsie, that's probably not much better than a mutant baby, huh? So sorry :-)

Cheffie-Mom said...

Oh my gosh! I have been a bit behind on my blogging. I did not know you had a car accident. I'm so glad you are okay. I hope you are able to de-stress soon. You are in my thoughts.