Sunday, November 22, 2009

Recipe For Disaster - Holiday Re-Run

With the Thanksgiving Holiday this week, I thought I'd share one of my favorite holiday posts made 2 years ago to help a fellow blogger with MIL drama. With out further ado, I give you........

Recipe for Disaster

1 bunch of relatives
1 pinch of unresolved issues
a cooler of "adult" beverages
sharp utensils such as carving knives
1 small dining room
seating chart ( optional )

As your guests arrive, take their coats and casually toss them on a couch or bed in your designated "coat room". Hand each adult guest a beer, glass of wine or alcoholic beverage of their choice.Carefully seat your guests near the person most likely to irritate them. Throw in more "adult beverages".Wait until guests are sufficiently marinated and bring up an unresolved issue or touchy subject. Make sure the table is full of sharp objects such as carving knives and hot dishes.

Have a phone nearby and be ready to dial 911!

Thanksgiving is one of the busiest times for Emergency Rooms across the U.S.

Something about putting a bunch of people that are related, together in close quarters with a bunch of cutlery and bottles (or cans ) of "truth serum". Unresolved issues seem to surface and before you know it - hand to hand combat breaks out. It's always fun until someone gets hurt!

I have a few helpful tips to avert disaster. Remember, just like fire needs oxygen to keep burning, drama needs fuel to keep it going! Observe from a distance, avoid getting drawn in. Be prepared with some distractions. Distraction is the best weapon when tempers start to flare-up at family get-togethers. A little preperation can save much aggrevation!

Antidote for Holiday Hell

1 bunch of Celebrity Gossip Magazines
A television tuned to the latest football game
Several plates of appetizers
Everybody's favorite desserts
1 handful of shiny objects
A back-up dinner, in case of a cooking mishap

Family gossip usually starts the drama machine. As soon as the haughty whispering starts, direct the attention to the latest issue of People, US Weekly or the Star that is conveniently nearby. It is better to gossip about someone you don't know than those in the same house.

"Did you hear the latest about__________? ( fill in the blank with your favorite celeb )"

When the men-folk start to misbehave, turn your t.v. to a football game.

"Oh look! The game's on!"

The hypnotic lure of the idiot tube usually keeps 'em in line. Just make sure there are plenty of "cold ones" and snacks for commercial time.

Food is a great silencer. When mouths are full, it is hard to argue. Strategically placed plates of pre-dinner snack foods are a necessity at family gatherings.

Shiny objects are also a useful distraction for both men and children.

Make sure you have a back-up dinner in case of a kitchen mishap. Food disasters are a great source of tension.

Dessert is the crown jewel of a good meal. The threat of not serving it due to ill-mannered guests helps keep everyone in line.

A good sense of humor is also really helpful. Look on the bright side, if there is drama, it gives you something to talk about. Perhaps start a contest with your friends to see who can have the most disastrous holiday. This is one contest where everyone wins!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Life & Times of Bad Momma & Co. - 3 week Catch-Up

This time of year is my busy season at work and I find it difficult to post as frequently as the rest of the year. Partly due to lack of time and mostly due to lack of motivation and interesting material to write about.

This may be one of the longest periods that I have ignored my blog. Please forgive me. Not so much for dropping out of sight, but for the burst of randomness to follow:

Sign of the Times

A few days ago, while running errands for work, I passed a few sign-holders such as this gentleman for stores going out of business: Smith & Hawken; IDG Jewelers, and a furniture store. I keep hoping the economy has finally bottomed out but keep struggling for clear signs we are in recovery. Unfortunately, signs like these do not help.

Saving the Landfills

We try to reuse and recycle as much as possible. When we had some chips and pretzels that were well past their sell-by date, I was a bit concerned about throwing dozens of bags in the trash.

A co-worker suggested feeding them to the ducks. I gathered up my boys and some of their friends. We went to a nearby creek and served up high-sodium snacks to our fine-feathered friends. A fun time was had by all!

I only hope we are not responsible for creating health issues like hypertension. It's bad enough trying to pay for health care for my family.

Indian Summer

This past week the weather has been unseasonably warm for November. I took a bunch of photos of the last of my flowers. I also took a few photos of my decaying vegetable garden, a lady bug and a milkweed bug. You can see these on my photo blog: Driveby Shooting: November Garden Pictorial If you click on the photos, you can see them full-sized.

I am amazed at the detail my digital camera is able to get. I have an Olympus Camedia C-7000 zoom, 7.1 megapixels. At 4 or 5 years old, this is now outdated technology!

I also was able to get my car washed on Saturday. Might be the last time this year for this! I was able to get Alex to help a bit before he ran off to play!

Today we had a swim meet and we spent a good chunk of the day at the pool. I'll save that for another post. Maybe tomorrow? I have some ground to make up!