Holy Guacamole! Adventures in Parenthood

Did you ever have one of those days, the ones that seem 48 hours long? The ones that become comedic as the day goes on? The kind where you collapse into hysterical fits of laughter reserved for patients in straight-jackets in padded-wall rooms? Over something as innocuous as Guacamole?

Yesterday was such a day.

It started out with allowing my middle-son, Alex to go with some friends to a YuGiOh preview/tournament event at a game store.

Against my better judgement.

My boys have a TON of YuGiOh playing cards which at an average of 20-25 cents a piece, for a small piece of cardboard, seems a bit excessive.

When Alex left the house, I thought he had $20 plus extra money for lunch. I also thought it was understood that he was allowed to buy the pack of cards required as part of admission, but no more than the bare-minimum. It wasn't until I was about to pick Alex up from his friend's house, I discovered this was not the case.

His brothers gave Alex a total of $50, along with a wish-list of cards to purchase. Their mistake was to not set limitations at what they were willing to pay; and their vocal displeasure that their funds were used to buy 4 "rare" cards. That's how most great plots get discovered at our house.

When things go terribly wrong.

As a teaching-moment I drove back to the store, with all three boys in tow. After getting a refund, as well as the proper amount of public humiliation, I set the next part of the punishment into motion. The boys got to run errands with me.

I hit a few stores to find a First Communion gift and was at my last stop, the grocery store. My hubby gave me instructions to purchase $50 worth of groceries so that we could get 30 cents on next month's fuel perks.

As I rolled into the checkout lane, I was ready to get home. The boys already called me to see what was taking so long, the car was getting a little warm. I explained that they could tough it out and that I'd be out soon.

I was careful to put dividers in front & behind my groceries. The clerk moved quickly and rang up half of my cart before I could hand her my shopper-discount card. When she was done, my total came up to over $90, which seemed a bit high. I swiped my card, not wanting to hold up the line and as I was handed my receipt, I noticed that there was a 12-pack of beer that was not originally in my cart.

At this point, I had to go to the Customer Service line to make a return & get a refund. While in line, I also noticed several more items that were not mine. Once again, my phone rang.

"Mom? Where are you?"

I explained the mix-up and told them it would be a few more minutes. To which I was reminded that the car was getting warm. I told them that they were big boys now and they could open the car-door if they required fresh-air.

Two more people in line ahead. Almost done.

Just then my cashier and a flustered-looking woman came hurrying over. Turns out there was another person in front of me in the original line. A customer who realized she didn't have enough cash and left the line to get funds from a nearby ATM. Not only did the cashier not hear this lady excuse herself, she didn't pay attention to the dividers between our groceries.

As I was pulling out the items I needed to return for a refund, my cell phone went off again.
Apparently as the boys unsuccessfully tried to open the car doors, the car-alarm went off.
I marched to the front of the store, clicked the magic button on my key-fob and went back to the matter at hand.

The shopper whose groceries I purchased was profusely apologetic. I assured her not to worry, my boys were in trouble and this was part of their punishment. I also remembered the time someone "bought" my groceries. These things happen.

When we arrived home, the boys helped me bring in, unpack and put away our groceries. We came across an unfamiliar item, the box of Wholly Guacamole, pictured above.

To which I collapsed in a fit of hysteria...

Sometimes as a parent, you have to laugh to keep from crying!