Spam - Not Just For Lunch

Who is ED and why do they want to get rid of him???? Why do I get dozens of people each day that want to be my drug dealer? Girls want to meet me or tell me about their boyfriend's endowment.
I also get special stock tips, numerous applications for mortgages that have been approved and foreign nationals that want to give me money. I also have been getting greeting cards from anonymous friends. Banks that I did not know I had accounts with, need me to change my passwords or update my information.
Daily!!!
Why me???? How did I become so popular? How do these people find me?
This is at least 90% of my daily emails!!!! I am torn between feeling dirty and being angry for being mistaken for an idiot.

I wonder what kind of idiot responds to these misspelled, poorly written, and insulting spam-mails?

Not me.....